The Musings
On Thursday, October 19th I woke up in the morning with a deep and stinging pain in my lower right hand back. I could barely navigate my bedroom let alone the apartment without wincing or stopping dead in my tracks to deal with shooting pain in my hip and down my right leg. This sucked. What sucked more was my thus inability to make it to O’Hare Airport the next morning for a flight to Dallas, TX where a couple of friends were getting married. It was awful, missing that wedding. I hate to let people down, especially my own friends and family. But, sometimes life throws a curveball in the form of possible sciatica.
Pain is an interesting concept that once experienced in a nature like the above gives one a special appreciation for being fit and healthy. If you’re feeling pretty good about your overall health, don’t take it for granted. At times, the pain for me was so acute that I could barely focus on my work and own thoughts. Those experiencing chronic pain or pain in any manner that rears its ugly head habitually know how to cope. I found myself coping in ways that I don’t necessarily regret but I knew were not the healthiest. A drink or two. A joint or so. These are not medical treatments. Still, the pain wanes when stoned.
What am I trying to say here? I don’t know. Pain sucks.
I’ve been thinking about loneliness a lot lately. No, I’m not too lonely on the whole. I have great friends both around the country and locally. I have a loving family. Sure, a relationship would be dope but, hell, in this economy? I kid. It’s just so damned hard to get everything aligned right at the right time when you meet someone.
Anyway, a lot of my thoughts around being alone were summarized phenomenally by the incomparable Craig Mod in his latest Roden newsletter, which you can find here.
Being alone and being lonely are two different concepts, as Craig points out beautifully. The part of his section on aloneness that struck me the most was the traps we fall into when we are alone for extended periods of time. Turning in on ourselves and developing weird or bad habits that overtime become our lives. That to me is the real scary prospect of extended solitude. Deep down, I know that as time progresses further into the 21st century, the following from Craig will ring true, emphasis mine:
I just turned 43 the other day. As part of the fun of embracing mid-life crises, I’m in pattern matching mode. Two decades of watching friends either pair up and start families (or just embark on paired adventures), or continue down paths of aloneness. It seems to get more and more acute — the effects of aloneness — as folks drift into their 40s. It also seems to be more and more difficult to break habits connected with aloneness the older we get. This makes sense. Habits self-reinforce. And the folks with families have less time for solo people, creating even more dissonance.
The Rundown
Reading
The Nineties: A Book by Chuck Klosterman
I may have mentioned reading this in the past. I am unsure and can’t be bothered to look through my old posts to verify at this hour. Anywho, I took a long break from this book and then just picked it up again and read the last two essays. Interesting stuff. I liked the following excerpt:
Alternative music expanded into the umbrella of alternative culture, meaning the prefix "alt" could not be applied to almost anything for an instant jolt of reconsideration. There had always been structurally indefinable comedy, but now there was a definable alt-comedy scene, a thematic extension of the HBO sketch series Mr. Show that centered around clubs like Manhattan's Luna Lounge and Luna Park in West Hollywood. These so-called "alt-comedians" were all doing different things, but they were unified by a sensibility their audience understood - this was meta comedy, based on critiquing the limitations and semiotics of traditional comedy. Sometimes a joke's punch line was that there was no punch line.
Cooking
Marry Me Chicken by The Modern Proper (Holly Erickson & Natalie Mortimer)
I find recipes to be like bolts of lightning. Every now and then, I come across a recipe somewhere and I need to cook it. This is one such recipe. I believe I came across it on Instagram as I follow The Modern Proper there. Instantly I knew I needed to make it this week. And I did! It’s damn good and super easy. I highly recommend.
The End
Uh, if it is to be said, so it be, so it is.
P.S. Do you like these newsletters on Substack? I’m unsure if I do. I’ve been looking at other alternatives and to be honest ideally I’d work it out my own but who has the time for all that? Anywho, lemme know your thoughts whatever they may be.