The Musings
It’s like buttering toast.
I recently got to spend time with my family back home in New York / New Jersey. It’s an interesting dichotomy, spending time with my parents that are on the verge of retirement and my nephews, who are just starting to come into the throws of life. When I see them, the boys, and spend time with them, all I want is to impart some wisdom. Tell them, “This is the way life is,” or “This is how to navigate the next 30 years and beyond.” However, it’s impossible. For one, you can’t tell a three year old much. For two, we have to make our own mistakes and learn from gathered experience.
I remember as a kid trying to butter my own toast for breakfast. I’d always muck it up, spreading still too cool butter across the breaking bread. My dad knew how to wait. He knew that you’d want the butter to sit on the bread for a moment or two to melt slightly before spreading it across the amber surface of the bread smoothly, cleanly. My dad knew, from experience of life, how to address the problem at hand. I did not, yet.
Life. It’s like toast.
If you’ve been following along in recent weeks, I’ve been doing a lot of self-work, whatever that means. Therapy is part of that but individual reflection and discernment is as well. With the help of my therapist and a friend’s advice column, I worked through my own personal values. You may be thinking, “Who the fuck even does such a thing?” I know, right? Well, I suppose I do. I wanted a better framework to know who I am, who I want to be, and what I want from life long term. After some reflection and culling, I narrowed my values to the ten below.
Some of these I know I have in spades. Others are more aspirational. Some are just part of me, innate. Others I need to work on and develop through time and effort. In any event, I hope my own self-work inspires you to do the same, if you desire to.
Friends - to have close, supportive friends
Family - to have a happy, loving family
Genuineness - to behave in a manner that is true to who I am
Compassion - to feel and show concern for others
Purpose - to have meaning and direction in life
Humility - to be modest and unassuming
Self-control - to be self-disciplined and govern my own actions
Knowledge - to learn and possess valuable knowledge
Autonomy - to be self-determining and independent
Humor - to see the humorous side of myself and the world
The Rundown
Reading
“Clicks of Desire” in The New Atlantis by Tara Isabella Burton
I read this at a very early hour in the day before I had coffee so I can’t say I fully grasped it all coherently. Still, there are some interesting concepts attended to here and I suggest the brief read if you’re intrigued by the internet and its impact on our perceived reality.
”How to Live a Happy Life, From a Leading Atheist” in The New York Times Magazine by David Marchese, interviewing Daniel C. Dennett
I’l be honest, I wasn’t really aware of Dennett before reading this. Part of me wants to shun overtly confident people on matters of faith or lack there of, whether they be religious or not. How could one possibly know, you know? Still, I enjoyed this interview.
“W Stands for W” in The Paris Review by Stephen Haines
I really enjoyed this little life story. Haines finds a way to portray corporate life and its changes wryly, incisively.
Stay True: A Memoir by Hua Hsu
I’m about halfway through this memoir from New Yorker writer Hua Hsu. It’s truly phenomenal. His ability to capture a period of time, the 90s, and youth, friendship, and the Asian American experience is unparalleled.
The End
That’s what I got for you. Take it or leave it, ya bish.
Rob